There's this guy in the ME deptartment that I always walk by. Like I pass him everywhere. Are our lives diametrically opposed? Anyways I make it a point to smile at him everytime I walk by. Maybe sometime I'll find out his name. I've been meeting other older MEs at a startling rate lately. The classes are so easy to get out of sync and if you have to retake a class it gets worse. So I'm in classes with people who are close to graduating etc. As much as I'd like to have the luxury of taking as long as I like to finish school, I'm under contract.

I feel so relaxed now that my fluids test is over. I did four loads of laundry last night in lieu of studying.

They say my account is going to be hijacked. I get that warning every time I log in. I love getting grandfathered in on insecure passwords.


Anyways.

I kinda like where my life is right now.

My job is easy. I'm sure I'll get busier as their homework gets harder, maybe after their first test xD But I don't foresee it getting reaaaaally bad. Especially not on friday afternoons xD

Apartment life is going pretty well. Leo fits in about how we expected. It's messy, and I feel too sick to clean right now, but I'll get around to it.

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop with regards to classes. Programming is still easy; circuits is a little confusing, but I got the hw done, MDC hasn't really started yet, and I'm starting to worry a little bit. The professor is notoriously bad at timing (I had him this summer, and I've heard the exact same thing from everyone else who has taken his class), so it'll probably be hellish in about a month. Lab is a mix of fascinating background info, tedious lab work, and confusing problems. I haven't done hardly any Fluids homework, nor has the prof mentioned a test. ho snap.

But I think I can handle it.

I'm still reading The Three Musketeers. It's getting really good :D

I've been sick all week (not swine flu; I'm not running a fever. Maybe sinus infection or something? I'm having some crazy drainage). I thought I was getting an ailment of the ladyparts, but it seems to have been nipped in the bud. phew.

There's only a couple of dark spots right now. The first is private, and the other is my dear old grandma.

The story of how she got to where she is right now is really too long to tell. It started last summer, and health problems, and self-identity, and things have all lead her to this bed in the hospital. Dad says hospice care is coming in to take care of her every day (well, maybe every day, he didn't specify). Stu and I went with my parents last week-end to visit her. She could hardly speak for having to breathe so laboriously and constantly wetting her lips with a wet washcloth. They said that was much improved over the last time they'd visited.

I think she wants to die. I think she doesn't really want to say it aloud because she doesn't want to hear the family's responses, but she's stopped taking a lot of her medications, eats very little, etc.

I've asked my dad, and he says he and mom haven't been pressuring her to keep living. Maybe I sound like a frigid monster, but I think that a 85 year old woman has earned the right to dictate how her life will play out. Many 85 year olds don't have the luxuries that she has had. Some of them are living quietly in their homes, where no one calls them, no one visits, they have no animals to love. Some are living oblivious in nursing homes. They no longer know who visits them, what their own lives were like, who they have loved.

Grandma Mary is a pretty short lady. I'm not for sure, but I think she's like 5'2" or so. But she was a child of the Depression, and like a lot of her fellows, is stuffed to the brim with stubborn tenacity. I don't think she likes not being able to take care of herself, but it's at the point now that she just isn't able to.

How terrifying it must be to watch your body fail as you're trapped inside of it.

I feel so messed up right now that it's ridiculous.
( Read more... )

For several years now, I've felt that I was becoming too attention-deficit to make meaningful livejournal posts, and now that the perfect medium for insta-think quick anecdote sharing has arrived, I mean, I'm into it.
Random thought while walking to the bus stop? Twitter it.
One-off link to share? Twitter.

Anyways. I still morally oppose the idea of syndicating my tweets on LJ, but if anyone is interested, I guess I can look into it. I just know that I tend to skip them all on my flist xD (maybe then I should add ljers to twitter then. . No, that would make too much sense)

Summer Session I is over and gone; I got at least one A. I doubt I got two, but hopefully Machine Analysis ends up as a B. I'll find out tomorrow, I guess.

Session II is off to a good start. Lots of people in MechiMat, a lot of whom i at least recognize, although very few are actual mechanical engineers (apparently all the civies took status summer I and are now taking either mechimat or dynamics in summer II. Poor kids). I love Jong though. A semester of Uche has made me appreciate him so much. I was so lazy a year ago! I hope I can avenge that C I made in Statics.

My life is a whorl of classes though. I'm looking forward to this week-end with Stu, and Kishi, and my family. Yes, it's still going forward as planned. Yes, I think it will wendell. No, I don't really feel comfortable discussing it on livejournal, no matter how intimate the group filter.

Last night I redownloaded Princess Maker 2, and played out a life and a half before calling it quits way too late. Got a terrible ending. Finished the second game this afternoon. Slightly better, but still bad ending. I hope the third one goes better.

Tonight I watched Twilight. The university was putting it on as a free outdoors movie, and I partook. There were many girls, a few boys, and some twelve year olds there. It wasn't too bad. the casting was incredible.

I still can't get over being tan. I keep poking my skin and watching it change colors.

and I guess that's my life since the last entry.

Summer school is death; I really enjoy it, but it doesn't leave a lot of time for thinking!

Summary of things that have been going on since the 18th:
seashell necklace turned out FAIL. I strung it all together and it just looked lame. The bits are just kinda hanging out until I think of something better to do with them. (ideas?)

I almost have a tan. Every day I look at myself and I am amazed by the tint of my skin. I'm serious. I haven't been this dark since 2005 (when I went outside in the louisianan sun every day for a month).
I'm almost losing weight. The last few days I've been kinda plateaued, so I don't know what's up with that. I'm not in any hurry anyways; There's still six more weeks of summer.

I really love living by myself right now. I am the mistress of my life and my domicile; don't have to worry about anyone barging in, and I can just not get dressed after a shower. I just love it. (I really love not having my parents around. It was always hard for me to talk on the phone or voice-chat with people knowing that they were in the house with me, or recording singing or anything. So I've been doing a lot of that. I don't know if my voice has improved any, but it's been fun.)

I've been trying to make a decision about something very important for a month; I can't really detail it here because it's too close, too personal, but idk. You all probably know what it is now anyways.

In my schoolwork, we've been using this program called Analytix. It was written in 1989 and last updated in 2002, so you can imagine what that's been like, but you can just draw almost any kind of mechanism you could dream of, and make them move. It's so fulfilling; I enjoy just sketching them out and watching them go through their circuits.

I'm doing pretty well in one of my classes, and fairly poorly in the other. I don't mind [too] much. At least not right now.

I also have no ability to string together a coherent post. Is that the celexa muddying my mind, or am I just not putting enough thought into this?
My anxiety levels are pretty incredible right now, as in, not high at all, so idk I haven't taken any the last couple of nights. We'll see how that pans out. I also don't want to make a doctor's appt to renew my prescription, which is one major aspect. (I have a few months' worth left, but I don't want to totally forget about it and find out I need some RIGHT NOW and not have any) I guess you're supposed to wean yourself off, but I cba to split the pills in half, sooooooo.

But sleep Wilber did. idk, that quote got stuck in my head at a young age (first grade) and I've never bee able to lose it.


Recently, I've noticed I've been grinding my teeth. In addition to making me feel like a speed addict, I've decided it couldn't be good for my enamel, so I've developed the habit of grinding my tongue instead. There's a neat place in one of my canines where a little bit of tongue can stay there without slipping out like the slipperly muscley eel that it is, and I find myself sometimes with my tongue there without realizing it. Habit successful!

(I also seem to have injured one of my taste buds as well. The last two times I brushed my teeth(tongue) I spat out single drops of blood. Not from biting it though. Just hot food I think.)

I dunno, school is going fairly well, but I feel like I'm going to look up this week and see the sword of damocles hanging over my head. Like it's been too easy so far and it's about to just rain down on me.

The diet thing is going well though. I've returned to the tens digit I was accustomed to in high school, just need to work on the ones place.
(why do I feel so uncomfortable typing my weight in my own journal?)
I ate out for the first time since.. Well, Florida I think. Went to Backyard Burgers (and blogged on WILT about it for the first time in five weeks) It was pretty dang good, I'll say. I'm getting used to cooking dinner though. Making sandwiches for lunch, etc.

Can I keep it up for another two months?

I've always implied that 85°F would be the perfect temperature for living, but now I know I am incorrect. 85°F is freaking hot. I broke into a sweat just walking from my car into a building.
Haven't turned on the airconditioning though. I was smart this week-end and ran the dryer while I was out shopping, so the equilibrium cooling coupled with my awesome blanket of thermal protection and a popcicle when I returned managed to win out.

I guess it's living on my own, but lately, I've found myself wanting to do voice chats for the first time. . . well, ever really. Living with parents is always awkward because they're like 'who are you talking to? Oh I see' etc. I just feel so uncomfortable and want to talk all quietly.
But by myself, not only do I feel liberated to speak act just as I'd like, but also, I'm kinda lonely so the presence is welcome. This is also why I've been keeping the stereo on. The DJs on KXUA 88.3FM talk a lot more than your typical radio hosts. It's like they talk to you instead of just hawking things. I like that.

Also, going to plug OMGMyGame again because I think everyone in the world should register there :)

This summer is turning into a France-in-America repeat of last summer except without having to be thousands of miles away from everyone (merely hundreds), and without the overwhelming anxiety.

There are the diet and the hw similarities, but also just being able to sit with my window open and listen to people living around me. There were some people moving into one of the units across the parking lot, two guys playing guitar and singing on a porch, kids laughing and shouting.

And a girl in rollerblades going to check the mail and enjoying the immersion.

I've known for a while that I turn incredibly miserly when left to my own devices, spending my own money.

My family, both branches being of poor farmer descent, has a long tradition of scrimping and saving, and in my solo adventura this summer, I have found myself turning to some of the tricks I've picked up along the way.

1) Not eating out. The simplest. One makes one's own meals, and one eats them. Since most meals are made for more than one, one then eats leftovers the next night. One packs one's own sandwich to eat at lunchtime and fills one's waterbottle at the water fountain during the day. One reuses the sandwich bag from day to day :p

2) Not pigging out. This is actually the thing I have the hardest time with. Those of you who are familiar with my ways realize that I have an incredible weakness for snacks. At my worst, I can put way entire bags of doritos without realizing it. This is why I weighed 108 lbs in the third grade. I started this week with a bag and a half of chips and they were all gone by Tuesday. The only thing keeping me from not repeating that spectacle is the fact that I haven't gone to the grocery store.

3) Not running the air conditioner. Today was the first day I ran the AC, and that's because I dried two loads of clothes. Not saying it hasn't been hot. I use a macbook pro, and those get *hot*, but I've toughed it out, locking the doors and going around in a shirt and panties helps. eating popcicles, opening the windows at night, and always leaving the ceiling fan on.

4) Taping a blanket in the doorway. My Granny Sue does not live in a house with central heat and air. She has a wood stove and a window unit. Sometimes in Arkansas summer, it gets to be 107 out. How does she cope? She stays in the living room with the air conditioner and keeps all the other doors shut. There is no kitchen door, however, so there is a sheet perpetually draped over the doorway. Doing the laundry today, I realized it was going to be over 80 degrees if I didn't so something, so first I turned on the AC. Then, ashamed, I thought it over, realized if I could close off the dryer, I would be better off, then hunted around for an insulating blanket. It only blocks half the doorway, but it is the half that heats slips through!

5) Not flushing. At the Rollet's house last summer, the upstairs toilet could go all day without being flushed. It got pretty damn yellow. I reckon, as long as I don't leave a turd in there, I can easily go two uses without having to flush.

6) Turning the water heater down. They say you only need your water heater to run at 120F. Mine was at 130F. Thanks, energy star suggestions!

It took me until today to catch up with lj posts from when I was gone. Now I have to start reading to catch up on what I missed while I was catching up.

I felt like such a tard commenting on things from the 8th, but you know, things happen.

I spent today/last night making the house, the car a better place after their week-long neglect. The dog and the carpet and the floor got vacuumed (mussie loves this), the dog got washed and brushed (he has so much hair), the yard mowed, the oil changed, tires rotated, car washed, car vacuumed, car dusted/armor-alled, and there's still so much to do.

Summer school terrifies me for a number of reasons--

I won't get a summer to myself. I guess you could say my summer has already happened, crammed into one week

I will be living by myself. No stu, no dorm. It's freaky and I don't know if I'll be able to feed myself. Well, and still manage classes.

Having to do class work without the safety net of the ME friends I've been accumulating or stu to make me study/do hw

Getting my fellowship to pay for summer living expenses.

At the worst, I'll lose weight, have to drop classes, and have to dip into my savings. Not exactly the most terrible thing that could happen to a person. That's a good way to think of it. I've already started logging my food for the summer. (I was doing it very good last summer then stopped when school started because I was so busy)

Oh yeah, final grades are up: four As and one B. My best college semester ever! It's nice to finally see some payback.

okay, I should be studying right now, but. . . I'll do it after this post.

If you don't keep up with my twitter, some people would say you're not missing much ;) but of course, I think otherwise, else I wouldn't use it.
Stu keeps hinting I should ship my tweets to LJ, but I find that practice to be pretty annoying, and I'm sure that if I did, he'd be the only one to read them, so stu, the answer here is to just go read it from there :p

If you keep up with my last.fm you might have noticed a severe increase in the amount of Kansas being played.

A little known fact about me is that Kansas provided a very large backbone to my childhood, starting roughly around the time we got internet at my house.

I spent the summer of 1999, maybe 2000, on talkcity chat listening to an eight-track recording of Point of Know Return on loop. All day long. That's the awesome thing about eight-track; you don't have to rewind anything.

If I wasn't on the computer, I might've had Best of Kansas in my portable cd player I got for Christmas. I didn't understand most of the songs on it, and they weren't quite as catchy as the ones on Point of Know Return, so I didn't listen to it quite as much.

Still, the last time I went home, two weeks ago or so, I had this urge to listen to Best of Kansas, so I brought mom's old cd back and listened to it in the car while we drove.

And then after that, I had to download point of know return.

I still know all these songs. It's very nice, slightly incredible, and has made me regress to my 10 year old state more than I can explain.

I've always built associations to time frames by the music I listened to then. I have trouble listening to one of my favorite Maroon 5 songs sometimes because I can't stop thinking about a certain unhappy night in France. Jupiter Sunrise makes me think of high school, of being newly in love with stu, etc

Kansas takes me back to a slightly paranoid time; I'm sure the lyrics in Point and Best of rubbed off on me.

Anyways, studying. *le sigh*

Sometimes, I start to feel that I don't care about advances in the internet and computing because there's no one I care about who I can use them with.

What is the point of seeking out an IRC program that can handle passive DCC on weird networks if I have no one to dcc files to?

What does it matter if my IM program doesn't handle video if I don't video chat with anybody?

I think part of it is not actively seeking a romantic interest. Then that makes me wonder, why can't I have friends just for friends' sake?

(for friends reading this, let's internet hang out, irl hang out, whatever. Swap files, goof off.)

I feel so lonely a lot. The old dream of "I hope someone new moves to school this year! maybe we can be best friends" just never dies. Megan (#3 for anyone still keeping count) is the best I've had, but we live so far away now. What can you do?

I think I must be a terrible friend; distant, childish, never wants to do the same things for fun.

I've got this feeling that of all the people I've met at college, perhaps two would refrain from making up some plans, or feigning disinterest should I suggest some funtime activity-- a movie, etc. They would wonder to themselves 'wtf, who is this girl?' I imagine.

It's hard to think whether this is the old "no one ever likes my ideas, so I will hope someone else suggests it, because no one will agree if I am the one who proposes it", or just "they don't really consider me more than an acquaintence".

This is why I take a pink pill every night. The few ways I know to get to know people are otherwise inaccessible because I freeze up, unable to act, too afraid.

The contexts of my life are school and the internet. What else is there? Television? It's dumbtarded. Sports? With whom may I play?
You think that school and internet would be enough in such a large school, but it turns out they're not. Geekery can be hashed and rehashed, dissintegrated into a fine powder.
"Oh, you prefer Lost and X-Box Live over integrals? I guess we're not too similar after all. . ." No longer content to fake interest, there's plenty of other fish in the pond, aren't there?

Then where are they?

I write words to a generic audience, hoping that my new best friend is out there reading them.

There's like three weeks left in the semester. Two of classes, one finals. Then it's apartment move in time. It's so crazy.

I feel like I haven't hardly had time to think the last couple of weeks. I haven't had any big projects, but the whole momenta of my classes have been rising to a crescendo, and it's hard to keep a handle on.

I had two tests last week, and will have two tests in the next two weeks, but I haven't been told when yet. (grrr). I need to do some massive writing for my final submission for Creative Writing (my second story was much more well-received than my first one :)), various homeworks, lots of studying for finals. It's really kinda overwhelming.

I'm really behind in my blog posts at WILT, as well. But, I have drafts for the 8th through the 13th, so now that I've gotten up to the 7th posted, it should be easier to get through those. (phew).

Finally heard back from two places I'd tried to get something with for the summer, two negatories, which is kinda good, because I need these summer classes to stay ahead xD I definitely want to apply for the USRP (nasa!) again next year though.

So yeah, busy busy busy. I'm really looking forward to living in the apartment all summer (we're planning to sign the lease on monday, I think). I already told my parents they should come visit me a lot xD

So my roommate has turned into über-bitch, so I've decided to turn her passive aggression back on her until school's out. If she wants to write facebook notes about how I eat too loud, I'll give her something to write about 8)

Anyways, things are getting kinda hectic as the semester draws to a close. I have a solid idea for my Creative Writing story, but I just don't feel like devoting time to writing. I pumped out nearly half of my quota yesterday, so I don't feel sufficiently pressed for time.

However, I do feel pressed for time with regards to Dynamics. we have a test on Friday on all the material I understand the least. *lesigh*

In non-schoolwork related matters, stu's roommate has gone on a sabbatical from pot, so he's actually kinda pleasant to be around. He doesn't talk to himself about random things, for example. Apparently he's trying to get clean incase he needs drug tests for summer jobs. Whatever it takes, man.

This week-end was pretty fun. It was the big frat-party week-end, so we had a lot of fun going out and watching how crazy it was out there. Hundreds of drunk college students ripe for the plucking.

Stu and I went to Old Navy on Sunday and i got the awesomest shirt ever. I like it a lot.

anyways, I've bored you all enough here. blaaaaaaah bedtime

Man, apparently I hadn't read ljfriends since the 25th. Left belated comments where necessary. (skip=400 before I got back to where I'd seen last)

Anyways, things last week were Sinusitis (I assume), and Two Tests.

Diff E test went over very well (97%), the Thermo test, not so well (54%), but I still have a B in there, thanks to curvature and my stellar score on the previous test.

I had a Dynamics quiz that kinda scared me straight and so I read a chapter from the book while stu drove the last leg back tonight.

I really didn't want to leave the house. Everyone got up late, and then we had a breakfast lunch of pancakes and bacon (I made the pancakes and they came out so well!), and it was just so nice at the house, and I took care of my potted plants (I think the carrot I left in one of them last semester is growing! That, or it's queen anne's lace, which apparently looks just like carrot, but there WAS a carrot there before!)

I read On the Shores of Silver Lake and was struck by how much I really really like it. The Ingalls first get to Dakota Territory, and the family is finally grown up into the structure it takes for the rest of the books; carrie is no longer the piddling baby and begins to have her own character, Mary is blind, and Laura begins to break out into fanciful visions and simile. It's wonderful, and I find myself thinking back to when I first read these, and how much they had to have influenced me.

OH btw, big thing
Stu and I went to look at a couple of apartments on Friday. One of them was shitty, but the other was pretty fantastic. I imagine after some haggling over the terms of the lease and it will be wonderful. We've started looking at furniture (my brother's gf has some stuff to sell from her deceased mother's house in particular) and imagining how to lay things out, how to do lunches, how to do transportation, etc. It's been very exciting. My parents and stu keep remarking on how relatively unexcited I am, but I think it will build. My typical timidity is just manifesting itself, and my natural reluctance to think any further ahead in the future than a month.

Thanks to massive allergy attack, I am kinda loopy this evening, making it the perfect night to crochet. That's when I decided that I thought the hat I made was way too big so I unravelled it all and started over. And now it's looking too small. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

but yeah, kinda spacey atm.

not really important, I just think it's funny: I shaved my legs on stu's bed this evening while they were studying for their midterm tomorrow. I was bored as poop and I saw his old razor (he got an electric one, and this one still had a fresh blade) so I resorted to my old pasttime of dry-shaving. Of course later it itched like a mother, so I applied some of my Touch of Pink lotion, and then of course it BURNED like a mother, but it's all good now.

even though it will cut me out of summer-stu time, I'm sure, I am super happy that he got his internship:D AND, he told them he couldn't start until the end of may, leaving us plenty of time to go watch a shuttle launch in Florida :D :D:D:D:D I hope my parents are willing to go, because this has seriously been on my to do list since idk like fourth grade, and there may not be any more launches after next year! (hard to say for sure. Look how long they've been planning to take the Hubble out of commission)

Um, so Spring Break starts tomorrow. I'll be in Ohioland, dunno what we'll do, besides stu take over my laptop to play ff7 >:[[[[[[[ I guess I"ll probably finish wild arms and do some reading, and study for diff e and thermoxD idk. It'll be cold, but hopefully it won't flood at home like it did last year xD

I think I might have a chai tea addiction now :X I read on the wikipedier that you could make it with tea and eggnog, so I'll have to remember that come Christmastime.

My days have degraded into a simple pattern of play study study sleep. I got a little frustrated at knowing exactly what I would be doing on each day, but I think that was because of spring break being so close. ( This is how my weeks go: )

But you can see, the fact that I can so easily define my week can seem a little irksome at times. But it gets the job done, and I don't go too crazy from frustration. if I didn't have CW, this would be a breeze, but trying to fit creative thinking in with all the math and engineering is HARD!

But yeah, my life is peaceful barring our pothead friend. He gets on my nerves so much now. He's just a big dumb-ass. When we rode with him to look at apartments (god no, please no) he was just one inane statement after the next.

I've also been wondering if the citalopram is impairing my ability to think sometimes. I find that I'm not as glib, but maybe that's just lack of practice. After all, all the BS I had to write for AP tests wasn't all that great anyways, I've found.

I think I might be the prime moviewatcher trope. Or maybe I just don't watch the bad movies. With stu as my film guru, he doesn't show me a lot of bad ones. Or I just don't pay attention to them. But anyways, it seems like it's been a long time since I saw a film I didn't like (seabiscuit?)

For some reason, I haven't been able to concentrate long enough to write an lj entry this week. Semagic Xjournal has sat open for several days. I kept up with WILT though xD

Anyways, this week was pretty good. I feel incredibly on top of my homework. I had two tests this week and I think I did pretty well on both of them. I got my thermo homework done on time, was going to go to office hours for diffe just to hang out until I realized he doesn't have them that late on fridays, etc. supa student.

We had a couple of days of beautiful weather, then there was epic storm last night and so it's cold again. *lesigh* My feet remember the barefootness though. SOON MY TOOTSIES, SOON YOU WILL BE FREE.

It's okay though, my feet had already started getting tender from my flipflops.

Anyways, I downloaded some songs by DJ Satomi (Waves, Wonderland, Castle in the Sky) and um, you can see on my last.fm that I have somewhere around 150 scrobbled plays for him. I think I went a little crazy from listening to just those three, which is why I am forcing myself to listen to something else now. I definitely haven't been able to stop whistling/singing them.

I read this thing on Monday night, I think, about tattoos and started thinking about the one I've been thinking about getting. Everyone I've asked has said that a tattoo on your palm is a bad idea, but I still want further opinions xD (for reference, this summer I was doodling on my hand in class and realized I liked the way a little black heart looked on the pad of my left index finger)

I'm going to an interview tomorrow for a position doing peer mentoring, which is what stu's been doing the last year. I dunno, I kinda want to work, but I kinda really don't. I'm so lazy like that. I gotta have something on my résumé though.

I found out that i knew most of the words to somewhere over the rainbow today. This makes sense, because I was half convinced to try out for the school production of the Wizard of Oz back in 11th grade, so I probably learned the song for the auditions (that I didn't go to) I would've been a kick ass glinda.

I've spent a good deal of the week-end AP grinding in ff5. I've got about 5 or so classes mastered per character by now. Mmmm Bal Castle.

Anyways, the week-end was fairly fun, apart from what I just said. Friday night, stu and I continued our quest to find interesting places to eat in Fayetteville, and we found a doozie. Bizys Neighborhood Grill is on the rich side of town (it's in a strip with a Harps that has chandeliers.) We only spent about $20 though! it was nice. They had an open rafter ceiling, modal lighting, crayons and paper on the tables, and a steak/seafood special for $10.

Since we were already on that side of town, we decided to take the highway to Rogers instead of the interstate, well we decided to see if the highway would infact lead to Rogers, and we passed the Botanical Gardens of the Ozarks which looked like it would be interesting in daylight. We made it to Springdale where we were officially back on the beaten path (Well, I was), went through a little Hamlet called Bethel Heights, almost made a left turn on a creepy narrow road, then took the next left for great justice, as it was a road that goes straight by the mall we were hoping to find. It was kinda like that scene in The Long Winter where Laura and Carrie are going home from school in the blizzard and they just barely happen to touch the last storefront of town before being lost on the prairie. Phew.

Anyways, we only went to two stores, since it's more of an outlet mall, where everything is all spread apart and annoying to walk between. 3/4 the time was spent in Sephora, where I finally made purchases (:D), and the rest was spent at Best Buy where I made no purchases, but managed to surprise a clerk by going from dSLRs to touchscreen cameras xD I explained about my need for portable cameras but he still seemed amused xD

I spent a long time playing with the current gen MBP. Oh god, I want one. When I got home, mine felt so thick and clunky. *cries* I love you macbook, I really do, but. . . Your brushed aluminum is getting scratched up, your screen is a little too small, your touchpad doesn't click as well as it used to, and it would be neat to not have a separate button there ;o

I did decide that I will not be getting an MBA if only because the touchpad click button is like 1cm thick. I can't hit that!

Anyways, we came back, and what we did, I don't remember. I probably played ff5 xD

One of those nights, we watched A Beautiful Mind, and it was a wonderful wonderful movie. I could sympathise so much with Nash's character. I don't have schitzophrenia, but I do understand his drive to do something unique, as well as being controlled by your own mind.

I think my classes prospects look pretty good this semester. All five of them will have due assignments, or some sort of accountability, and that does wonders for my study habits. I'll have to bite the bullet and team up with a guy who isn't popular, but I knew last semester I should've done this, so I can't make any excuses. Besides, I am awkward myself, and have no room to avoid him because he's awkward.

I also started thinking about extending my college stay to the five year plan xD There are so many more classes that I'd like to take than I would have time for. I would have to pay for two extra semesters, or however long, but it's tempting. I've e-mailled some people in the Honors college some questions I have, and asked stu and my dad what their thoughts were, but nothing is definite yet. I just had the inspiration when I noticed that one of my critical classes would have to be delayed a year because one prerequisite isn't offered in the spring.

I had a beautiful dream this morning. It involved stu's sister as the princess of Hawai'i, stu as someone approximating Lelouch, and a battle with a sea monster featuring Princess Cornelia.

There was a beautiful open field, cross country bikers, a wedding, and some nakedness and thoughts on the duties of the noble.

I guess it's 'cause it's not worth much in the long run.

But anyways. I finished Code Geass tonight, and I simply could not accept that I'd finished the second season without some sort of creative cartharsis. I tried doing my CW homework, but my poetry book was all telling me about witnessing political turmoil and stuff, and so that vein was unsuited to anything but comparisons to CG.

So after that, I came back, read the first ten chapters of the manga (or skimmed. It wasn't much reading) then desperately looked for stills for reference.

The first attempt at drawing Karen (I don't know what it would take for me to call her kallen) was hideous. I did not despair, though, but thought about it logically, like all those anime drawing tutorials say, and it came out much better.



Of course, I was too lazy to reinvent an outfit, and you really can't tell a character from such a generic looking face, but whatever. I don't draw much anymore ;o

Anyways, I am plumb full of thoughts on the series, so if anyone wants to talk about it with me, I would be obliged.